"Angel"
Clairvoyant Case Study
Home Site Map Case Studies
About Research Project About Case Studies About eBooks
Key Facts
about Homosexuality
Homosexual
Case StudiesGay Men
Bert Calvin
Lesbians
Adrian Jessica
Bisexuals
Stew Ola
Gay Couples
Betty+Sarah Darrel+Dean
Coming in 2011
This book will contain Gay Men, Lesbian, and Bisexual Case Studies by Jean Mastellone
"Adrian" Lesbian Reading by Jean Mastellone Names and other identifying facts have been changed.
Any similarity to person's living or dead is purely coincidental.
The first thing that I'm seeing is that Adrian feels that defiance gives her a sense of freedom. Defiance means power, defiance means that she can feel free and reckless. She loves the feeling of claiming her independence she loves the feeling of saying that she's a lesbian. She's all hyped up right now with so many other lesbians around her. Adrian dresses tough and she looks tough but she does have a feeling of being feminine to her, a soft open side to her, but also a tough exterior side.
Fourth energy center
As I'm looking at Adrian clairvoyantly, in her heart center she's saying, "My heart belongs to my father." And it seems that she's being a lesbian to get even with her mother. She's saying, “My heart belongs to my father because he's accepting me this way and my mother won't.” She feels hurt and totally rejected by her mother. It's as if she's going out and having other relationships to get even with her mother. Not that she would be staying with her mother anyway, but that's the sense I get looking at her here. She is doing everything to get even with her mother and she is openly siding with her father. Adrian is saying, “He is a really good guy, he's supporting me and I like men. There's nothing wrong with me liking men, I just prefer women." Adrian is sort of saying, "So there. I can be with a man as easily as I can be with a woman, but my preference is women and that's where I'm going to go."
I'm seeing her being sexual with her father and being more like him in a sense, more physically like him. Her father is more open and not as rigid as her mother, yet her fixation on her mother is extremely strong. She wants approval and validation from her mother. Adrian knows she can get validation at any time from her father or from men anytime she wants to flip that switch. This is what she tells herself but her mother is the one who won't accept her. So Adrian is going out looking for acceptance from women because she so strongly wants acceptance from her mother.
It’s almost that she's telling herself she doesn't want that acceptance anymore. She just wants to get even and show her mother. She's going to be with as many women as she can. She is going to have fun. She's going out there in the mainstream, visible where people can see her. She’s declaring that she's a lesbian. She's going to prove she's right and can be accepted by both men and women. Her life is going to be fun despite her mother.
Her father was more fun loving. He was easier going and she's taken on a lot from her father. So she's telling her mother that she's going to be fun loving like her father but she's doing it with women. Adrian is calling her mother a hypocrite because her mother has been telling her that she shouldn't be with women and Adrian is saying, "Fuck you, I don't care. You fucked me so I'm going fuck every woman in the world."
In this picture Adrian is wearing a leather jacket and she's on the slim side. Only the side of her face is visible but she looks pretty and her crew cut hairstyle is becoming on her. She feels good about who she and what she looks like. She feels like she's going to take on the world. She has a lot of energy when she is at work and whatever she does she does it well. She is climbing the ladder to success. Adrian wants to be a successful woman.
I'm seeing a lot of red in her aura. She is run on her anger. But also she's very intelligent. She actually drives her intelligence with her anger. She looks like she would have many friends but as I'm looking at her she really doesn't. Women are threatened by her, she's too outspoken and too aggressive. Her friends come and go. Looks like she has a couple of steady friends who stand by her, at least for short periods of time. She has maybe one close friend but people don't trust her because she is extremely fickle and dishonest. She doesn't mean what she says.
Most women are sexually hesitant with Adrian because she's so outspoken and flamboyant that they are afraid she has been too promiscuous. Adrian controls her highs and hypes herself up by thinking that she's the best, she's good and that she doesn't have to necessarily be with women. Adrian puts on these airs because people project images to her that she's weird for being a lesbian. At these times she goes to her feelings about her father and relate them to men. She says she likes men and they are attracted to her and she could be with a man if she wanted to but she just chooses not to.
So I’m seeing a “fuck you” attitude when somebody judges her. She’ll say, “Well, fuck you. I’m doing what I want to be doing, I'm not weird, I'm okay, I'm smart and I'm doing just what I want to be doing."
When her mother (and some others who she knows from her past) tells her she's not doing right her answer is, "What's right? How can you say what right is? I'm not hurting anybody." Sometimes she'll say to her mother, "Who are you to tell me what's right, you don't do what's right."
Adrian is outgoing, a real extrovert. She is this way because she is defiant on the inside and she's expressing her defiance in this aggressive, sometimes seemingly positive way. Someone else might be defiant in a withdrawn way. That person would be feeling defiant and not be honest about it, so that person would not come across as open or outward. So in a sense Adrian is not as split as one who is not being honest about her defiance. A woman might be a lesbian to get even with her mother but not be that open about it, or belligerent about being a lesbian. She may not be so sure that she's right or would not be projecting outwardly that she's right.
Adrian is controlling because she is living from her ideas. She appears to be free and not controlled because she says whatever comes into her head and she doesn't care. She rides a motorcycle and she's reckless and calls this being a free spirit. She believes that her defiance is her power and gets a big thrill out of defying and also going against the norm.
Adrian’s power is centered mostly in her head. She's smart and good at what she does so she believes she can say, "Fuck everybody." Whatever she does, she does well from working to riding a motorcycle and sports. She believes that her efforts and abilities entitle her to be the way she wants to be.
This attitude may be good for show but it keeps away many friends who could be close and it keeps her from having a partner who will stay. Adrian claims that she doesn't want a partner, not a lasting partner, she's too young and carefree. She thinks it is hard to find other women who are as carefree and gregarious as she is. This is all her image, all projected outward. She lives in a created energy of how intelligent she is. She feels she can be as good as any man with riding a motorcycle or speeding, fixing a car and also in mental endeavors. She tells herself that she is smarter than men and more ambitious. She can rank with the best of them although she doesn't actually do that it's mostly in her mind.
First energy center
I'm going to get underneath now and take a look at her first energy center. She's saying, "I must do this for my survival, I must be outspoken, I must stand up and be who I am so people don't crush me. I am a woman lover and there is nothing wrong with that." Adrian is very sensual and has strong sexual feelings. She has almost a constant craving that she turns into being sexual. This is like a sexual type energy that she runs on and this makes her appear to be more feminine. And because of where she is holding her father, she has a sexual energy around her that make men also attracted to her.
Adrian projects this kind of energy not because she wants to be with men. She does it because she wants to appear normal and wants men to be attracted to her. She wants to have men turned on to her and in this way she can have power over them by rejecting them and telling them no. Adrian will even lure men in with sexual energy and then get pleasure out of telling them she prefers women. And some of them say, "Well you've got to be kidding.” Then they try to go further with her and she starts getting threatened and embarrassed. She’ll run or slam them with a remark.
She feels that nothing she does is of any consequence, that she can do anything she wants and she won't have the negative effects of it. She can be sharp and mean to somebody and it's that person’s problem and not her problem. Her attitude is, “If they don't like it, it's their problem, tough, that's just the way she is.”
Adrian considers herself to be a woman. She tries to be graceful even though she dresses kind of tough. She has a kind of graceful feel about her and she projects that she is a woman. This validates her and also her position. She’s saying, "You don't have to be like a man to love a woman, you can be a woman and love a woman. You can be feminine and masculine at the same time.” And this is what she's projecting with her leather jacket, the softness of aura and the sexuality towards men. She is projecting that out even though she doesn't want to act on it. So it's a whole conglomeration of ideas and feelings that Adrian is projecting outward for her (what she calls) survival. But it's really her image and it's a way of enacting her patterns of grossness and appearing to be less gross.
Her patterns of grossness are her severe denial of her rejection, her hatred towards men, her sexual craving for women, her wanting to be mean to women, to be mean sexually and to have power over another woman. In a sense she feels she has power over a man by rejecting him. So she doesn't actively have to strive to have power over men. But she actively strives to have power over women by being sexually aggressive and then rejecting them, by being better than other lesbians because of her talents and what she projects and also because she doesn't have a total lesbian aura about her. Or her ideas are not so towards women in that way.
She views herself as being more open, she's free, she's natural, there's nothing wrong with her, she prefers women, she does love men, she feels sexual towards men, men feel sexual towards her but she doesn't really want to enact that because she doesn't feel that she has any real desire to do that. And all of these ideas make her okay.
It's a way of negating her strong craving for women, but she wants to be with women and she doesn't want anything else. Underneath she does feel her attraction to women as a perversion, as a thing she has no control over. And the more she sees it as sexual freedom, the more she feels tied to it and has to do it. The cravings get more they don't get less and she's even telling herself as the cravings get more, that the more you have sex the more you want it, the more sexual you are, the more of a sexual being you become.
End of Peek []
Top
♥ Tell a Friend about this Site
www.HomosexualityWeGetReal.com
Home Site Map Case Studies
About Research Project About Case Studies About eBooks
Upfront Press Inc, P.O. Box 30, Elephant Butte, NM 87935
Website Copyright © 2011
Page last updated August 21, 2011
