Homosexual Research - Gay Man Inner Profile -Bert

"Bert"
Clairvoyant Case Study

Homosexual
Case Studies

Gay Men

Bert

Calvin

Lesbians

Adrian

Jessica

Bisexuals

Stew

Ola

Gay Couples

Betty+Sarah

Darrel+Dean

Coming in 2011

This book will contain Gay Men, Lesbian, and Bisexual Case Studies by Jean Mastellone

"Bert"

Gay Couple Reading by Jean Mastellone

Names and other identifying facts have been changed.
Any similarity to person's living or dead is purely coincidental.

Bert is in his late twenties and is openly gay. He looks to be about twenty-five years old. He has an androgynous look about him. He could almost be a woman or a man. He has short hair and a nice face and smile. Nonetheless, he has a very feminine feel to him. The first thing that I am clairvoyantly seeing about Bert is that he is disconnected from his parents. They do not want to have anything to do with him, and he feels the same about them.

He is extremely sensual and nice looking. I am seeing gold coming out from almost every part of his body. This tells me that he is extremely controlled, although he does not look like he is controlled at all. He appears open, and has an aura of openness and sexuality about him. As I am looking at this young man, it is as if he actually loves himself. I am not seeing him putting out energy towards the man with him. His attention is on his sexual feelings and what this other man feels about him.

Bert exudes a feeling of sensuality. It seems to be a major part of his life. He is always feeling this, even in his work. These two men are on vacation now, but in his work, he also exudes sexuality and sensuality. It looks like he wears suits and fancy clothes that are sensual. It is possible that he is a model, or in an artistic profession. I am going to start reading his energy centers at the time of this picture.

First energy center

I’m seeing that Bert’s inner experience is not at all matching his outer. He looks happy, confident, sensual, sexual, and feels that life is wonderful. Nonetheless, I am seeing a great sense of aloneness and desperateness. He is covering over many experiences.

Because of his body type and looks, he is in a profession where he is accepted. He makes money, looks good, and feels good. All of this is on top. At this point, his life is going well for him. Things are falling into place for him in the gay world. He believes people respect him and men want to be with him. He is superficially living out this reality.

I am going to look now at what Bert is feeling inside that he is not showing. He is in a lot of conflict. He is almost crazy with many subconscious ideas and drives. I’m seeing thoughts in the first energy center, "I'm lost alone, I can't find my mother. She raped me when I was only two. She licked me and sucked me; she would not leave me alone. I am dangerous to women. I would like to slay them all. Men are beautiful like my father. I love my father. I am all his. His penis in my mouth is like heaven. I adore him and I will totally be his forever. I cannot get enough sex. Men love me. I would die for any one of them." Bert is thinking this in relation to AIDS. He does not care if he dies. Sex is his main objective. Being sexual with men is his main goal. Feeling sensual and sexual is his whole life.

More thoughts recorded here, "I am devastated. My mother left me. I want a woman, I long to be with a woman, but I cannot let my father know. I am angry with my father because he kissed me too much. He embarrassed me in front of people. I have made up my mind. I will never be embarrassed to kiss a man in public again. My father made me feel shameful. I will never again feel shameful being with a man in public. My father desired my goat; he got my goat. He wanted to slay me but I would not let him, I pretended to like it. I am his. I am just like he is."

The feel that I am getting as I am reading Bert, who, on the surface, looks perfectly sane to me, is that he is truly schizophrenic. His first energy center has a non-coherent feel about it and contradictory in the extreme. I get a strong sense of Bert longing for his mother, and longing for the feelings that he got from his mother. Yet, at the same time, he is saying he wants to be with his father because he is like his father and he loves his father. However, the more basic sense that I get in him is this longing for his mother. He is longing to experience a sense of love and sexuality from his mother.

What I am seeing is that his mother started sexually abusing him when he was around two years old. His father started sexually abusing him when he was four. Bert is running at a fast pace, totally riding above his feelings of detestation in relation to both his parents. He feels rejected by both of them. Both of them will not have anything to do with him now. He still thinks he wants their acceptance but he will not do what they want, which is to be straight and give up this ridiculousness of being gay.

Bert came from a wealthy family, but he is making it on his own now and thinks his father should be proud of him because he is making his own money. He thinks his father is a hypocrite. The further he is getting away from his true feelings the more unreal he is becoming. He is way out there, insecure and unstable. However, he is strongly going on the image that he has created about loving men and being like his father. Underneath he is in a lot of conflict, a strong desire to be with his mother, and to have a relationship with her. Out of that is a longing to be with women, but he has it so buried that he feels that it only has to do with his mother. He does not relate to wanting to be with women. He does not even consciously relate to wanting to be with his mother, except that, he feels hurt because she has rejected him. However, he feels like he is betraying himself by siding with his father and by being with men.

Bert thinks that there is something wrong with him. In addition, his sexual past is covered over. He believes that if his mother “did not reject him” at an early age and his father accepted him he would be normal. Underneath he does not consider himself normal. He does not believe his gay relationships are a choice. He believes that he is driven by a passion that he has no control over. He puts a Pollyannaish air on top of these almost insane sexual drives for men. This drive for men to love him is a drive to get his father's acceptance and love. His father does not want him to be gay. This is an intellectual idea according to Bert.

Bert was sexual with his father so his father would accept him, but his father is also a homosexual and is in denial of it. His father reasoned that being sexual with a young boy who is your son is different from being homosexual. He does not talk about it but it is what he believes.

The more Bert denies his longing to be with his mother and denies that his sexual drive has to do with wanting to please his father he will not be able to change his drive or even want to change it. He experiences a real craziness inside. I'm seeing a lot of distorted ideas and craziness and he is extremely nervous. Bert gets nervous when he is modeling. He gets nervous about people looking at him even though he is a model. He is always nervous and on edge and tries to cover that with an air of sensuality, fun and openness. He laughs and jokes a lot. This is to cover over how he is feeling.

Bert’s father was accomplished and positive and his mother was withdrawn and down. He desperately did not want to be like his mother and did not want to be down. He wanted to have fun and be important like his father. He wanted to be handsome like his father.

Four months in the womb

I think I should get some information in the womb before I go on. The father is a warm person. The mother is cold, and unfeeling. She is more real than his father is more in touch with her actual true subconscious negative feelings.

Bert’s mother was feeling that she did not deserve anything good. She felt humiliated. Her husband would go out sexually with women. He was rejecting her when she was four months pregnant. His mother had put on more weight than she should have and his father was very image conscious. Beauty was everything to him and the way she looked was everything. When she gained a few extra pounds, it made him angry. It made him want to reject her. She felt discouraged, disgraced, and she wanted to eat more. She did not like being pregnant. She did not want to give, especially to a man. She felt depressed and alone most of the time.

Bert experienced a longing for his mother from about the second through the fourth month in the womb. These were his mother’s feelings that he was picking-up on.

She felt alone, she felt unloved, she felt lonely, she wanted desperately for her husband to love her and care about her. Nonetheless, the more she wanted that the more he pushed her away. Bert was taking on many of his mother's feelings in the womb. He was taking those feelings and applying them to his mother. He wanted his mother to want to be with him.

I am seeing that Bert’s mother was rejecting and avoiding him because her husband was rejecting her when she was pregnant. She wanted to avoid the whole issue of being pregnant, so she was avoiding her fetus. Because of this, Bert has a deep sense of longing, and wanting to be with his mother. This is what I read in his first energy center, "I'm lost and alone, I can't find my mother."

I am seeing many non-coherent thoughts in the mother when she was four months pregnant. She seems to be on prescription drugs for depression. In the womb, Bert is picking-up on her craziness and feeling insecure. He wants to hide. He wants to reach out. He is longing for some security from his mother but feeling none.

End of Peek []

Top

www.HomosexualityWeGetReal.com

Home Site Map Case Studies

About Research Project About Case Studies About eBooks

Terms & Conditions Privacy Policy Contact Us

Upfront Press Inc, P.O. Box 30, Elephant Butte, NM 87935

upfrontpress@starband.net